Funny Puns What Do You Call a
What Do You Call Jokes: Perhaps the earliest form of humor for children is the "What do you call…" joke. Maybe it's because, as children, leaning to talk and getting it wrong is a daily peer group experience. Who knows?
But the format has outgrown lollypop sticks to become a standard ice breaker in the adult world; a familiar setup for which we all know the rules. If I were to ask you; "What do you call a golfer who lost his balls?" you'd know what to say, and what to expect.
And just because the format was born on playgrounds (and co-opted in to "dad jokes") does not mean it cannot be a vehicle for the sophisticated or the surreal.
The "What do you call" joke is a cannon for free expression of any kind, no matter who you are. And I say let's have some fun with that.
Here's a few we put together. We've tried to make them unique. Some are kid friendly. Some are more "out there." Let us know some of your own favorites.
The cute:
– What Do You Call Jokes
What do you call a hare with no hair? — A bare.
What do you call a bear with no hair? — A bare bear.
What do you call a polar bear with no hair? — A Brrrrrr.
What do you call a bear that gets all the bamboo it wants? — A Pandered
What do you call the love of gold? — "Gilty" pleasure
What do you call a female with a postage stamp on her forehead? — Mail.
What do you call one hundred cards each? — A big deal.
What do you call the head cook at a monastery? — A frier.
What do you call camping during a storm? — In tents.
What do you call half a bottle of perfume? — 50 per scent
What do you call musicians that are no longer welcome? — The banned.
What do you call a penguin with no loyalty? — Bi-polar
The surreal:
– What Do You Call Jokes
What do you call two apples? — A pear.
What do you call sheep that listened? — A herd.
What do you call worn-out shoes that have no purpose in life? — Lost soles.
What do you call a fly with no wings? — A buzzkill.
What do you call seven if you think seven ate nine? — The prime suspect.
What do you call a surprise party-goer— a guessed.
What do you call trees that yearn to be wood? — Pine.
What do you call a teenage girl who "can't even"? — Odd.
What do you call those that always ask questions? — The whys.
What do you call a tape worm's environmental impact? — In human.
Next: 56 What's the Difference Between Jokes
The inappropriate/edgy:
– What Do You Call Jokes
What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in a swimming pool? — Bob.
What do you call a woman with no arms or legs floating in a swimming pool? — Lilly.
What do you call a woman with no arms or legs floating down stream? — Brooke (or Flo.)
What do you call a girl with no arms or legs floating in the ocean? — A buoy.
What do you call a golfer who lost his balls? — Miss.
What do you call a smoldering man? — Cole.
What do you call a skinned, boned, boiled animal in a bowl? — Soup.
What do you call a family of baby chicks in a tea pot? — A brewed
What do you call a catholic boy in a confessional booth? — Prey.
What do you call forest fires and melting ice caps? — Global warning.
What do you call kinky nurse cosplay? — Bandage
The anti-joke / meta-joke:
– What Do You Call Jokes
What do you call a hare with no hair? — Nothing. There's no hare.
What do you call the one person that hasn't left? —The one person left.
What do you call a woman with grace? — I don't know, but the woman she is with is called Grace.
What do you call a doctor who frequently loses his patience? — Incompetent.
What do you call a nay-sayer with a gravelly voice? — A horse.
What do you call the winner of a weight-loss competition? — The thinner.
What do you call a cannibal that lives alone? — Conflicted.
What do you call pain killers that come in lots of different colors? — Anesthetic choice.
What do you call a meal where the vegetables insult the meat? — A roast.
What do you call something I can't tell you? — It's a secret.
What do you call a day without sunshine? — Night.
What do you call a penguin with no negativity? — A sanguine
What do you call batteries when they are not included? — Free of charge.
Next: 155 Dad Jokes, Puns, and One-liners
The "What do you call a man/woman…" variety:
What do you call a man who's passed his prime? — Wane.
What do you call a woman on the other side of a river? — Bridget.
What do you call a woman married to a cannibal? — Nora.
What do you call a woman no longer married to a cannibal? — Finished.
What do you call a Scandinavian woman no longer married to a cannibal? — Finnished.
What do you call a choir boy when he's singing? — Hymn.
What do you call a choir boy when he's singing but can't remember the words? — Humm.
What do you call a girl who catches butterflies? — Annette.
What do you call a woman who is unkind and critical, with unrealistic body proportions? — Barbie.
What do you call a very, very, VERY tall man? — Miles.
The follow-up
What do you call a Mexican boy who lost his twin? — Juan.
What do you call the missing twin? — Juan-dered off.
What do you call the missing twin's parents — Irresponsible.
What do you call chickens that curse? — Fowl.
What do you call chickens that tackle from behind? — Foul.
What do you call outrageous chickens? — Flagrant fowl.
What do you call an Eskimo with no eyes? — An Esk-mo.
What do you call an Eskimo with no ice? — Thor.
What do you call an Eskimo with ice? — Eskimo on the rocks.
What do you call an Eskimo on the rocks? — A long way from home.
What do you call an autistic weather forecaster? — Rain man
What do you call an autistic king? — Reign man
What do you call an autistic Prince? — Purple Rain man
What do you call a factory that makes scents? — An Olfactory.
What do you call a factory that makes sense? — A matter of factory
What do you call a factory that makes drama? — An Actory
What do you call a factory that makes karma? — A didactory.
What do you call a factory that makes Llamas? — An Alpactory
What do you call a factory that makes everyone a whole lot calmer? — A vasectomy.
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Telling stories from even the vaguest "brief" is a game I've always loved to play. For me, diversity of life experience is the source of a deep and colourful ink well.
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